in which sometimes you don't have a choice.

i guess... yesterday was kind of a long day.

for myself, i had a great early morning (working out, punching things, working on stances) and a great mid-morning (hanging out with my friend Sam, drinking coffee) and a great late-afternoon (hanging with my friend Natalie and showing her pictures of people i might get to meet) and a great evening (learning a hell of a lot about footwork during sparring/fighting).

but yesterday, i also heard/read a great deal about how not-fun things are for some of my friends. and i started to crystalize a ton of travel plans i'd been putting off making decisions on, due to... well a life complication that appears to have bowed out.

the truth whacked me in the face again: chris... you don't get to choose.

--

but if i did get to choose...

i'd choose that my knight-mirror D not have to deal with infidelity and separation. that one of the hardest working N-people i know not have to deal with her husband's semi-frequent verbal abuse. that my new friend S not have found out that his mother's cancer is widespead and inoperable, and that my dear friends J and M not have found out the same about J's mother. that my ex-sister-in-law not STILL have crap to deal with from any of her family.

that none of my warm, witty, wonderfully-loving friends were ever depressed and insecure about their worthiness in general.

i adore you all, and i'm pulling for you.

--

who, me?

well... yes. since you ask, i guess i'd choose differently for myself, too.