in which there are two incredibly ironic - but unrelated - developments.

[chris_warrior]

as previously mentioned, i've been reading The Hobbit to my mother. then a neighbor dropped off a bunch of James Patterson books, and my mother began to devour them, one by one, and then went on to request more of them from the library. she even sought out the rest of the series about a group of genetically-mutated kids who escape from their government captors, which she laid aside at least once (pronouncing it "too weird") and then finally picked up again and finished. and then demanded more.

this is, you understand, her M.O.

so reading of The Hobbit suffered a bit under the brunt of her new Patterson obsession. when she finally had read all of the books of his she'd acquired, she asked me if i felt like reading more Hobbit. i read three more chapters out loud in two days. i went to put the book down, last night, at the point where Bilbo has been konked by a rock during the Battle of Five Armies. she blinked at me and said:

Mom: "He's alive, right? He was just knocked out."
me: "I dunno. That's the next chapter."
Mom: "You could just TELL me." *grabs the book*
me: "You know, you don't have to wait for me to read it out loud... you can just finish it if you want to."

this morning i came downstairs, and before she even said "Good Morning", my mother looked at me and said:

Mom: "OK... Where's Lord of the Rings?"

--

a few days ago - albeit under friendslock - i was dissecting my change of heart of late; my lack of desire to date. i posted one of two emails i had received from a guy who found me through Yahoo personals - really cute letters, the type of communication women get very rarely, but which - did men know - nearly always work. but my gut said "why bother?"

still... because the letters were THAT cute, i added the userid on yahoo chat. last night, i finally caught him online.

would anyone like to take bets as to his profession, and whether or not it requires use of a firearm?

am i by ANY chance wearing some sort of psychic sign - of which i am unaware - that reads, oh i don't know: "Men of Scots heritage who like to play with guns please apply here"?

and yes, for those of you keeping score at home, this would be three in six months.

Comments

[kaleaanne.livejournal.com]

maybe you are out of balance and the universe is trying to provide you with some.... maybe you have sh*t luck LOL

on a totally unrelated topic... is it true that it's only $100 to get licensed for massage in Maine and $50 every two years in NH?

[chris-warrior.livejournal.com]

"Men of Scots heritage who like to play with guns please apply here"

note: i'm not saying this is a bad thing, really, just... rather odd. maybe it IS a balancing act. maybe it's a mental outgrowth of a long-cherished Highlander fetish. but, it's not like i have the above sentence inserted into my profiles!

i don't know how much it costs to get certified in ME or NH. i do know the numbers are all ove the board, no pun intended, and that usually the fees are for registration, not the license. usually the license never expires, just being a registered practitioner. probably an easy thing to Google. :)

the sign

[onyxhealer.livejournal.com]

It might even be in neon...

Re: the sign

[chris-warrior.livejournal.com]

WAHHHHHHHH!

you made me cry!!

you do realize that everytime someone makes me cry, God kills a puppy?

Re: the sign

[onyxhealer.livejournal.com]

There must be a lot of dead puppies around...

I didn't really, did I? You're just sh!$$ing me, right?

Re: the sign

[chris-warrior.livejournal.com]

*tickle*

i'm sorry - no, you didn't. i'm just teasing you.

and you're probably right about the sign. *snort*

Re: the sign

[onyxhealer.livejournal.com]

Oh, okay. *whew!* :D

[swashbucklr]

"He's alive, right? He was just knocked out."

"She doesn't get eaten by the eels at this time"

"What?"

"The eel doesn't get her. I'm explaining to to because you look nervous."

"I wasn't nervous. Maybe I was a little bit "concerned" but that's not the same thing."

[chris-warrior.livejournal.com]

*LOL*

i just like to tease her, that's all. ;) i mean, if you can't tease your seventy-year old mother, who flatly REFUSED to consider she might ever want to read Lord of the Rings until The Hobbit sneakily contained the first chapter of it, and she accidentally read it, and now she needs to know what happens...

who can you tease?? ;)

btw... if you're seriously considering it, i hope you take the jungle. i know you could do it, if that's what you wanted. and it'd be such an amazing use of your time. *hug*

[swashbucklr]

I think that it's awesome that your mother is going to read the Lord of the Rings. Of course, mine read it before I was even born. ;)

i hope you take the jungle

There's a lot to consider, and negotiate, and arrange. I've been giving it some serious thought, however. And if I go, it won't be for a few months yet.

babes like men who like monkeys. or do i have those nouns mixed up?

[chris-warrior.livejournal.com]

There's a lot to consider, and negotiate, and arrange. I've been giving it some serious thought, however. And if I go, it won't be for a few months yet.

just remember...

"le singe est sur le branche"

Re: babes like men who like monkeys. or do i have those nouns mixed up?

[onyxhealer.livejournal.com]

Any chance on a translation for the rest of us?

Re: babes like men who like monkeys. or do i have those nouns mixed up?

[chris-warrior.livejournal.com]

tee hee. just a famous line from an Eddie Izzard sketch: "The monkey sits on the branch."

me being silly. ;)

*hug*

[swashbucklr]

As if I could ever forget that!

[reynaud.livejournal.com]

That's what through my mind, too. :)

[reynaud.livejournal.com]

The problem with getting hooked on the first chapter is that the tone of the storytelling changes once they get to Rivendell. Then, for the most part, it's told in much more of a medieval epic style.

Give her The Book of Three by Lloyd Alexander.

[onyxhealer.livejournal.com]

I LOVE THAT SERIES!!!!!!!! Eeeeeee!

[chris-warrior.livejournal.com]

i may get there. but first i'll have to read it. i keep meaning to.

i'm trying to work her toward David Eddings. thing is, SHE chose to keep going into Lord of the Rings. i really expected her to stop and be ready for something else.

ah well, if she doesn't finish within a month, it's all academic anyway. once the seventh Harry Potter comes out, all bets are off. ;)

[rantarn.livejournal.com]

Your mom does know that LOTR is quite a bit heavier than The Hobbit, yes?

[chris-warrior.livejournal.com]

yes, sort of.

i mean... i tried to tell her. she's like, a quarter through The Fellowship already, though.

i tell you, this woman devours books.

[mass-herderer.livejournal.com]

"NRA member who enjoys kilts and riddling helpless animals with lead."

Yeah, that doesn't exactly ring as a match made in heaven for you.

I'm glad your mother is really getting into fiction, has she always been such a voracious reader or is she just now starting to get into fantasy/science fiction ?

[chris-warrior.livejournal.com]

not hunters - not any more. i actively select against them now. but i'm getting a lot of cops and ex-cops and military types (still).

the one i started chatting to (not a lot, we don't seem to hook up a lot, and he hasn't bothered to email, so it looks to be going the quiet and natural away-way) is a medivac. rather cute (if the picture is anything to go by) and not going to be deployed to Iraq (so he claims), and almost a decade older than Jesse (which makes a HUGE difference to me, i've found, although i'm told over and over that age shouldn't matter).

my mom is a voracious reader of mysteries who i've been leading cautiously into the realm of fantasy; she stumbled into sci-fi all on her own.