in which i'm home safe, and happy to be here, but-

[chris_warrior]

i'm home safe.

however, although glad to be tucked into my own bed again, i now miss Julie, my other Boston friendlets, homemade pecan-studded waffles, my LARP buds, and the boy. in no particular order.

ok, perhaps people before waffles, but it's a close call. ;)

i've taken care of my fish ('nother minor disaster while i was gone resulted in losing half of them *sad face*), my mail, my email, my unpacking, and ran/walked 2.5 miles.

i'm a bit tired... and a bit lonely.

Comments

Lonely

[vdansk]

Did you ever read Theodore Sturgeon? One of my favorite writers, as he could mix despair and hope, glaring ugliness and delicate beauty all within the same story.

This is only from my memory, from "A Saucer of Loneliness"

"There is in certain living souls
A quality of loneliness unspeakable
So great that it must be shared
As company is shared by lesser beings.
Such a loneliness is mine
So know by this, that in Immensity
There is one lonelier than you."

Or, in a much happier vein:



SONG

You're wondering if I'm lonely:
OK then, yes, I'm lonely
as a plane rides lonely and level
on its radio beam, aiming
across the Rockies
for the blue-strung aisles
of an airfield on the ocean.

You want to ask, am I lonely?
Well, of course, lonely
as a woman driving across country
day after day, leaving behind
mile after mile
little towns she might have stopped
and lived and died in, lonely

If I'm lonely
it must be the loneliness
of waking first, of breathing
dawns' first cold breath on the city
of being the one awake
in a house wrapped in sleep

If I'm lonely
it's with the rowboat ice-fast on the shore
in the last red light of the year
that knows what it is, that knows it's neither
ice nor mud nor winter light
but wood, with a gift for burning

Adrienne Rich

Re: Lonely

[chris-warrior.livejournal.com]

those are pretty. :)

i'm not... gut-wrenchingly lonely. just... a tad melancholy. it's the reversal of fortune, that reclaiming a life that is in all things satisfying and worthy, until one glimpses the larger possible world between the cracks in one's own.

Re: Lonely

[vdansk]

Growing always hurts. Not much comfort, but still true....

Insta-Grow, Just Add Loss!

[chris-warrior.livejournal.com]

given this theory, i really should be DONE by now. ;) ;)

[brickhousewench.livejournal.com]

Glad you're home safe. I wasn't sure, when I saw the snow, if you'd be back here tonight or if you'd head home.

[chris-warrior.livejournal.com]

i did think of it, but it was actually quite a bit safer driving west this morning, than east. i left Charlton around 11 am, and pulled into my driveway at 3 pm. once i was out of the Springfield-ish area, there wasn't even much snowfall, and roads were dry by Albany.

i got off easy. ;)

sorry you had to shovel THREE times!

[willowbard.livejournal.com]

sorry - i didn't check voicemails until tonight after i'd left for rehearsal. I was avoiding every possible distraction today so that I could focus on all the To-Dos.

Missed your IM too, apparently. I was off at dance but didn't have a message up (was running late) - you were still showing as online and i sent a message when i got in (maybe 25 minutes after you'd last messaged me) but never got a reply before I saw you disappear.

*hugs*

wishing you a night of sweet dreams...preferably without spiders and WITH surprising, beautiful kisses instead ;)

[chris-warrior.livejournal.com]

hey you. was actually in shower. :) and yeah, bed soon.

actually wanted your opinion on a almost totally unrelated matter: an email i got which made me feel a bit weird.

and i wish you the same!

[saxikath]

It was good to see you!

I'm still at my crazy puzzle thing. Brain is completely fried. Our knife fight was more fun. :)

[chris-warrior.livejournal.com]

*lol*

for our knife fight, you must thank the Rogue's Challenge. it was SO not my idea to ever fight in the arena.

however, in my return to real life and real treadmill, i DID remember what i was thinking about talking to you about...

were you serious about getting into running trim and trying the Ras de Eirenn? (sp)

[saxikath]

I am serious about trying this. I'm not confident I'll be capable of running a 5K by then, but that's the goal.

[chris-warrior.livejournal.com]

well... if you're serious about getting ready, i'll get serious about getting ready, and i'll come anc run it with you. i think it's on a Sunday, yes? i ran it with a friend once before, and i think it's Sunday. if it is, i know i can work Saturday morning, drive up Saturday night, get in a walk around Somerville, a good night's sleep, and do the 5K, wander around Sunday, and go home Monday or Tuesday.

i need some motivation to get my butt in gear. ;)

[deva-fagan.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you got home safe! I always feel a bit sad after LARPs. I miss my kindred spirits.

Hey, are you planning to play Samarra for the two spring games? And are you seriously considering the possibility of switching to cast, or did I just imagine that?

[chris-warrior.livejournal.com]

right now Tlena and i are trying to wrap our heads around how we might use these two months to clamber up to Deepwood and figure out what's going on up there with my family and Marlena's family, and start the ball rolling on converting the Oak and the Ivy in as controlled a fashion as possble...

however, you also threw her quite the curve, and i'm sure she'd really like to meander over to Clarion QUITE soon...

though Hope sent me an email that i hope she expands on and sends to you for continuty; i think she should name it "Leters to Truman" - it'd be hysterical.

and then she offered to maybe write a bit about our adventures north. a collaboration of sorts. as long as we can hit you up for a nod "yes" or nod "no" for canon, i told her to have at it.

this, however, might make Samarra's getting to Ramathy more dfficult. i was trying to think of a way it might work, but the only thing i could come up with is having Sevi fetch me. ;)

casting? yes, i'm still on the fence. Exile showed me that i miss Casting a LOT. and i'm wholely unsure whether another character will ever measure up to the challenges i've gone through as Samarra, which is a lot of pressure on The Next One. ;) as much as i'd like to help you all write plot and plan P3, i think i'm going to wait until the new rulebook comes out to make my final call. i hope that's OK?

[saxikath]

If someone needs fetching, Sevi would be happy to. :)

[createdbyme.livejournal.com]

Glad you had a good time and made it home safe!....mmmmm waffles! :) *hugs*

[chris-warrior.livejournal.com]

awww. thank you sweetie. *HUGE HUG*

(and Julie does make these amazing whole grain waffles. omgyum)

[dcltdw]

*perks up ears* homemade pecan-studded waffles? oo? oo? oo?oo?oo?

It was great seeing you again. It was nice that the tables had rotated slightly so it was you and me flummoxing Hope rather than you and Hope throwing me into the deep end. :)

Hopefully sleep addressed the tiredness and the loneliness. (My brain magnifies all the negatives in my life when tired.) Mmm sleeping in until 10... :)

[chris-warrior.livejournal.com]

i think this thread will demand Julie repost the recipe. :D

you looked like you were enjoying letting your surgeon loose in the arena! ;) next character = fighter?

and i have to admit that - after last game - having Tlena turn to me and say "Samarra... help me! I don't know what's going on! I don't know what to do!" was sweet, sweet revenge indeed. *insert evilish cackle here* also amusing to me OOG that rourkie again managed to take someone's romantic expectation and scare the beejzus out of them with it. *lol*

i'm not sure if her entry is locked, but ladyofmusic is the one who traded with you for your kitty T-shirt in the raffle. she told me afterward that the cat in question (who was very special; we all really loved him) had dissappeared. i wanted you to know that your sacrifice of your surgeon's shirt was not in vain. *hug*

and lastly, sleeping in to 9 am was indeed sweet. for me that meant i slept almost eleven hours. should be all caught up now. ;)

[dcltdw]

Next character definitely will have combat capability; I'm leaning more towards melee than magic.

I'm glad that someone got the cat t-shirt. A rabbit t-shirt of I CAN HAS SURGEON would be more my thing. A cat? Well, don't get me wrong, I think cats are cute and all, but I'd rather have it go to someone who squees at cat shirts. :)

rourkie is kinda scary. Well, no, I think it's a lot more truthful to say that I'm jealous of his scare-the-beejezus-out-of-people superpowers. :)

[saxikath]

Cow disappeared?! Waah!

[brickhousewench.livejournal.com]

Waffle recipe posted here -> http://brickhousewench.livejournal.com/359722.html

[ravena-kade.livejournal.com]

Sorry about the fish.

and i can understand the feeling a tad lonely after coming back from a trip of fun and friends...and in your case, steel ;-)

[chris-warrior.livejournal.com]

*LOL*

oh MY was there steel!

live AND fake!

is better today. Dave nailed it, in part, with the tiredness. but yes, still, missing people. wishing i could have it both ways. *hug*

[saxikath]

Glad it's better today. I'm running on fumes right now myself -- the LARP/Mystery Hunt combo is doing me in but good. It does make it hard to cope with things.